Another Day for You and Me in Paradise.

What? Oh no, I wasn't trying to relax at 10:00 tonight. No, go ahead and pound away at whatever you want, Josetta, or whatever your name is.

I mean really. What the hell is wrong with some people? Okay, I guess there's some catching up needed here. Last June, my fiancee moved into a place in Linden Hills Minneapolis. It's a nice place in the middle of a really nice neighborhood. I guess you could say that it stays brighter a little later here (that's a David Cross reference if you missed it). I was soon to move in. The first thing the both of us noticed was what sounded like some sort of earthquake going on upstairs once a day for about an hour or two. It's followed by what sounds like a couch being moved back and forth across the floor for the next hour or so. And then it culminates with loud, annoying Spanish music that is accompanied by what we later found out was the woman practicing her dance routines. She walks like she's a camel on steroids, even though she's about 4'11 and must weigh as much as a small book that's soaking wet. She wakes us up every morning at around six, except on weekends. And during the Summer, she would wake us up earlier. She does so my clomping around on her floors in what must be twelve inch heels, running her blender and it sounds like she's renovating both her kitchen and her bedroom whenever she's in either.

The irony of it all is that she's a substitute teacher who barely speaks a word of English, so you try reasoning with her.

This continued. We tried talking to her about it. We tried talking to the landlord about it. And both to no avail at all. This has been the way of things for almost a year. Tonight, after a peaceful day, except for my downstairs neighbor who blares his radio out of his window 24/7. Then the bitch came home, and since, there's been no peace at all. It's now 10:27 and it seems like things quieted do.... Never mind - there it is again. She was just in her bedroom doing things where we can't hear her over our air conditioner. Oh, that's right, I forgot to mention that part. We leave our air conditioner on all winter long because it's the only thing we can do to drown her out that won't disturb our other neighbors. Yeah, I know right? Who cares about that sort of thing?

I personally think that martial arts training should be mandatory for all apartment livers. That way they learn not to walk with their heels and to have respect enough for people not to slam everything they can whenever they can, when just shutting things or placing things on their floor would be sufficient.

What a douche she is. In fact, I don't think there are enough bags on this planet to hold all of the douche in that little Mexican, exercise-freak's body.

Thank you for being witness to my rant. I'm sure there will be more to come.